Hokay, does anyone have an uncle who was in solitary confinement as a P.O.W. in ‘Nam or something? (No- one who really was in ‘Nam. Not a war movie buff or someone who just tells people that while panhandling for a part time job.) Or maybe a dad or older brother who knows about a place that they don’t tell you about in high school that you either go to (I didn’t – Some of my family just likes “Law & Order”) or you don’t called “the hole”? If you don’t know what the hole is good luck don’t be sensory-deprived by a cult someday or something. Oh yeah the other two examples- Have you or anyone you know gotten messed up in the head by being introduced to forced isolation and imposed confinement by a cult or some deprogrammers who maybe were trying really hard and had better intentions but messed you up in the head by forcing isolation and mantras on you AGAIN?!
The point is that I haven’t been through any of those but I isolate myself because I am a misanthrope. I hate the majority of humanity and really will never be able to trust anyone- Not even possibly a spouse someday. I just learned how people can be so worthless, manipulative, and ugly. So I read. I have like 10,000 books to read and that falls before everything else. Besides I’m like every other late-20s casualty of the “learning disabled system”- I’m a workalholic. And I’ll fail by my responsibility but if I’m faced with the rip-off-of-life of all times I’ll push myself to the breaking point. Anyway that’s what I’m doing now but I’m already starting AGAIN to suffer from the effects of long-term isolation- and I’m less resilient than before unlike what I had expected. I just had too much company (whew- that’s for sure- the people I spent my weekends with and lived with can go to hell). The awkwardness is coming quicker and I’m getting confused. Now I’m talking to myself and muttering or whispering to myself for company because I’m the only person I spend too much time with to get sick of – well – myself. At least I’m answerring back and not an imaginary friend and most of the time I’m doing it in my car. I just kind of look at it as a bad sign if the most fun or thoughtful conversations I’m having are with- well- me. The good news is I won’t go postal by now and the bad news is instead all I have to worry about is either losing my head because I can’t communicate myself and then having to worry about living in a parallel psychotic imaginary reality that does not meet or agree with the perceptions of the consensus reality shared by the masses (transforming me magically into a blabbering dumbass who believes that jesus is in his Big Gulp), OR having an aneurysm, OR having a stroke before I hit 30 (still working on it), or having a heart attack.
So, I sleep. I eat. I’m agorophobic meaning that I hate humanity and feel really distrustful of a lot of people and that everyone can be so irresponsible and selfish- BUT I can still go out to do the important stuff (groceries, doctors or dentists appointments, etc, etc).
How can people cope with the isolationism in regards to precautionary measures for the effect of isolation on the psyche (especially if it’s like a harmful form of therapy in many cases such as “Primal Scream” in which isolation is a choice- not a matter of circumstance or a penalty for one’s actions.)?
One thing I did to cope was I had an imaginary girlfriend- No not a blow-up doll… That’s just creepy. And no not a hallucination. I mean a self-created controllable predictable type of chick who dug spending time with me- and when I felt like women treated me like a freak or a mutant or someone who was a dumbass only because he didn’t give a crap about coke or couldn’t buy them any then *poof* I made this pseudo-hallucination-type chick appear. Why one time I went to a taco shop even and three couples at a time were in and out of there and I forgot why I ordered two burritos for myself lol. As I imagined for my own peace of mind and tolerance of the isolation that she was sitting across from me I had imagined her to say, “Well, isn’t it cool to have an imaginary girlfriend like me? I’ll never prejudge you and belittle you and I’ll never leave you- besides I’m a figment of your imagination so I’ll always appreciate what you have to say and say what you want to hear.” Lol. But of course, I’m a realist not as caught up in my head as I’d like to be. So anyway should I have stuck with that route as a socially maneuverable method of dealing with isolationism? (I couldn’t find any rats or cockroaches I could really befriend or keep as pets at my house to deal with it.)
Otherwise, yes, I’ve heard stories of people “cutting” to deal with the isolation but I’m trying to quit- Nothanks. That’s gotten kind of old and I feel a bit more shameful of that.
Heroin. Not a fan. Don’t ask.
Yes, I have a cat but he wouldn’t really be that good a conversationalist if I took him out to see “The Dark Knight” and have some beers haha.
Pllleeeaasssee tell me how I could use my temporary self-isolationism and at least BARELY keep it together. It’s just until I get the studying done that I wouldn’t learn in college. Then I promise not only that I’ll leave “The Batcave” but that I will take a FREAKIN AWESOME vacation!
